Wednesday, April 25, 2012

"sorry dishes, you will not be cleaned tonight"

This week was challenging. I don't even want to think about it but it's good to let it out and let it go. I work better like that. Once it's written or said out loud I feel much better. This week was the end of Zach's Spring session and it's was tough... tough to watch him in and out of the house... tough to feel him next to me sleeping for a couple hours a night, three nights in a row. His eyes looked exhausted. He was wiped out. With all that he had to do, I took all the extra tasks with Olivia and man oh' man sometimes it's plain out aggravating. Patience is not one of my best friends. When I'm getting pulled around in different directions mentally, I'm a ball of messiness. My decision making, organizing skills and mental clarity just goes out the window. I'm late paying bills. I forget to call people back or lose memory with simple things. I'll walk into a room and forget what I needed to do. 

Here's one of my daily scenarios (I work part-time (30 hrs) and usually pick up Olivia after work). We come home and the list starts. Here it goes: figure out dinner (this is actually harder than it seems), cook, clean dishes, wash clothes (try to do this between all of the cooking), entertain O with some dancing and singing, give her a bath before dinner is ready, try and get some pj's on her, pray she will eat her dinner (her eating habits are up and down), make a bottle since she's usually still hungry, clean up the kitchen, lay on the floor and let her jump all over me and then! place her in the crib where she cries for about 10 mins before she finally falls asleep. For two people it's not that bad but for one... it just slaps you silly especially after a busy day of work. 

Zach is always so helpful, even if he has to be working on school work, he will lend an extra hand every time and is never bothered by me asking for help. That's why I love him so much. I'm the biggest whiner; I'm the one that's moody or irritable. I'm the one who wants to break down and cry because it's too tough for me to handle. For some reason, he's not bothered by me and always gives me comfort emotionally and physically. He's the kind of person that surprises me on how calm he can be during highly stressful moments. Well, he's just a special man, my special man. hehe. I'm lucky to have him in my life. 

So, I should probably clarify that I almost never get to all these things on the list above like cleaning clothes and washing dishes but my mind is always trying to tackle it even on my way to bed. I have to just say "sorry dishes, you will not be cleaned tonight".  There it goes... my venting for the day, week and hopefully month because my Zach is done for this semester. One more Summer, one more Fall and one more Spring till this family is free to buzz around in other parts of the world. This Queen Bee is holding on while she's learning the valuable lesson of patience. Good Night. Gooood night. good night.

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