Monday, December 16, 2013

It's all in the eyes

Lately, I've been back in the studio... thanks to a special teacher of mine. I swear she can read my thoughts. I'm so lucky to have her around these days. She's inspired me to start working again and to work with a little more seriousness and concentration. Painting the self seemed like a great way to get back in touch with myself but also something more than just myself... everything underneath. The feelings of connection and disconnection almost always arise and thankfully small tokens of fullfillment as well. It's been a breath of fresh air... really whichever way it goes, I know working is the best thing for me right now and can't imagine a time that isn't. The settling of my ideas, thoughts and feeling all live to be stretched over a surface - brushed, marked and blended together. I live for the knowing I can be back the next day, week, month or year. Time doesn't change that little space. It lives... and lives and lives. Sitting back and looking at my face, my eyes, my nose, my ears, my lips, the color shifts - the way the light hits my skin while my mood slightly shifting makes it work. It's not strenuous work or boring but tedious and technical. It has questions and answer to everything and nothing. Yeah, I just said that. hahah I'm sure most people have walked by a piece of art and felt nothing for it but then years later have had it have profound effects on them. At least it's happen to me. That's what I mean by "everything and nothing" existing at the same time. The work lives through people, the artist. This idea has come up recently, How long can paintings live? Some people say forever but that's not true for all paintings. I've seen paintings live for like two days and then it's done. I think that's why artist keep working and working for the painting that lives forever for everyone to feel and experience at any time. It really is challenging, thoughtful and necessary. I work in about 3 hour sessions. I paint as much as I can - sometimes I get it all in and sometimes I'm working on one section which feels like forever. The eyes are an area I find most enjoyable and challenging. The gaze is really exciting and important to me in a portrait and so much information can be received by the eyes. Information is not always something I'm searching for but when it's given - it's delightful even if it's sad and depressing. I'm working on that magic.

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